I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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