living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
