Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
