what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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