You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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