dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
