i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
