woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
