hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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