His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
