that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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