This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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