Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your cock deserves a montage
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
