I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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