I could make wine with my vomit
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
