You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
