I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize