Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize