JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
