the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
