Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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