i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
not ubering you a puppy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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