i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
