I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
