You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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