Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
