my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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