If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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