I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
