If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
