i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
