This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
