I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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