K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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