Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Vodka?
Forever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
