how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize