i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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