Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
