Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
