so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
