With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
