I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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