There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
