it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
