never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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