dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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