I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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