nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
