your room smells of hookers.
And success
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
