you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
