the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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