Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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