It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
