Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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