new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
