Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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