So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize