you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
