I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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